Redemption and Damnation
by shaid
Summary: Cannon one shot. Occurs after CH 471 in manga. Sesshomaru realizes that he is vulnerable. Rated T just to be safe.


I am quite aware that I haven't updated my other stories, but… this just came tumbling out today at work. This occurs after chapter 471 of the manga. No mush, no warm fuzzies… just some thoughts. Not sure if it's OCC or not, but it just needed written.

Redemption and Damnation

By shaid

The night was close around them as they traveled. None of the group wished to tarry near this place or its mistress. Sesshomaru strode ahead with a dark look in his eyes. The Tenseiga thrummed lightly, as if to soothe its chosen one. The taiyoukai nearly growled.

_What use are you to me, _he thought angrily,_ if you could only bring her back the once? She will die again and I will be without._

The thrumming increased as if to sympathize and scold at the same time.

A frown flickered over his golden eyes as he thought of his companions. None of them could be brought back, he realized. Jaken could live the longest, perhaps another five of six centuries, if he were very careful. If Sesshomaru were lucky, and very careful with her life, Rin could live another sixty or seventy years. Kohaku would not live long at all, his life ending as soon as the jewel shard in his back was removed. He could die tomorrow or a year from now, but either way, it would not be long and he could not be brought back.

Sesshomaru was shocked to discover he cared about their fates.

The loss of Rin would be the hardest to bear, he knew. She was a treasure, pure and simple, her joy in life a balm to his demonic soul. She deserved better than to tag along after him for the entirety of her short life. Rin deserved flowers and happiness and love; she deserved to love and be loved, to have a husband and children someday if she so wished. She deserved a human life. But it would mean letting her go, letting her risk death and illness. It would mean letting her leave him. Sesshomaru was not sure he had the strength to allow her to leave him but he was equally unsure he would be able to give her the life she deserved. It was unfair to her, but someday he might give her a choice…

If any of them even survived this conflict they had become embroiled in. The death toll was larger than Sesshomaru had thought possible for such a war. It was not fought on battlefields or in sieges on the palaces of the noble but with threats written in the blood of innocents. Naraku saw those who opposed him as nuisances to be disposed of and forgotten. Sesshomaru remembered feeling similarly, killing those who interfered in his business, even accidentally. Unlike Naraku, however, he had never taken pleasure in the suffering of others, seeing the pain he caused as merely a means to an end.

Coming to a clearing, he paused to glance at his companions. The others in his party slowed as they approached him, all of them tired from the day. Rin sat upon Ah-Un, listening to Kohaku as she yawned sleepily. He could smell the need for sleep on his other companions as well. His eyes met those of the young slayer for a moment and the boy nodded.

"This Sesshomaru will wait here as Rin rests," he announced. A small sigh of relief escaped from Jaken just before he bowed to his lord.

"Of course, Sesshomaru-sama. Will we require a fire?" Sesshomaru nodded. "Then I will collect firewood if the slayer will hunt for himself and the girl." The taiyoukai nodded again and the other two melted into the forest.

Rin heaved a sigh and slowly climbed down from her mount. Her scent was not quite back to normal and Sesshomaru couldn't help but be slightly concerned. Not since before the dog of hell had taken her through the meidou had he seen her smile. As she looked over at him however, he was able to detect a slight upturning of her lips. It was slight, but it was a smile. He allowed his own lips to upturn slightly as their eyes met.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" she whispered. She was waiting for her own orders from him. He shook his head.

"Rest, Rin," he replied. "All I require from you is your recovery. Rest." She pulled out her bedroll and spread it towards the edge of the clearing then sat and stared up at the night sky. Sesshomaru watched her for a moment, slightly envious of the peaceful smile on her face, and then turned his own eyes to the stars. They sat in silence for a long moment, each lost in thought.

"Sesshomaru-sama?"

"Yes, Rin?"

"Rin is sorry." She spoke quietly, her voice sad.

"What has Rin done that this Sesshomaru must forgive?"

"Rin died again, my lord. Rin did not ask before leaving Sesshomaru-sama. Rin is sorry." Her voice shook as she spoke and he could smell that she was trying to contain tears.

Sesshomaru closed his own eyes, hiding the pain that her fear caused him. Fear was natural and Rin was a human child; she was allowed to feel and express fear. She had every right to fear death. Sesshomaru could not protect her from it. _I am afraid too, Rin_, he thought. Opening his eyes, he sought out her small figure. For a human, she was a pretty child and someday she would be a beautiful woman. He hoped her life would be long.

"It was not your doing. Do not think on it, Rin."

She nodded and lay down. Within moments Sesshomaru could hear her breathing even out into sleep. He sat beside her, carelessly wrapping his pelt around her.

"Forgive me, Rin."


End file.
